LOOK INTO MY EYES

NETTIE-OLOGY: Look me in the eyes!  

The ability to properly communicate is an endangered behavior. In recent times I began receiving an increasing number of text messages that warranted telephone calls and, though not as many, telephone calls that should have been face to face conversation.

Think about this, when communicating via text message or social media, CAPITAL LETTERS IS YELLING. Not everyone who text knows that some people just use all caps because they are not typist and do not like looking for the cap key for one letter. I have also had communications via text message that were so long it required my receiving multiple text to complete the one transmission.

Very few people want eye to eye contact with others. I often joke “my eyes don’t lie” but it is very true, if you look in my eyes the perceptive person can see how I really feel. Liars control how they look but the rest of their body reveal the truth. Eye contact is dangerous to the liar but it is good for the individual who wants to share a truth with all sincerity.

The art of communicating is the ability to diffuse a situation with words. I have to commit to listening to you, paying attention to your feelings and respond with honesty and empathy. You may not like what is said but if spoken correctly you will be able to deal with it. Text messages, social media post / messages are forms of communicating but can easily taken out of context; telephone calls can end abruptly. Let’s bring back talking face to face, eye to eye over a cup of tea.                     written by MARSHA L F Randolph

 
NETTIE-OLOGY /NETTIE-ISM reflects the opinions of and is the soul property of the author MARSHA L F RANDOLPH. All rights reserved- do not use without permission. Disagreeing with what is written is not offensive to the author a disagreeable comment will be deleted.

NETTIE-OLOGY: THE HEART OF NETTIE

NETTIE-OLOGY: : THE HEART OF NETTIE- I WRITE

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I have allowed people to dictate my time and influence my thinking that ends today. I am not the entertainment committee- don’t just drop by. My kitchen is not self-serve; when you do stop by uninvited don’t expect me to offer you anything. If I want your opinion I will ask for it; I have not in all these years so…!

Yes, I make candles and soap; I crochet, knit and sew; I also garden. I do things that I enjoy that help me relax enough to forget about the cares of this world and focus on what I am writing; ironically I write about the cares of this world. Many times I force myself to interact with others rarely do I want to be with people.

I have to physically see and talk to loved ones to make sure they are OK and then I am ready to retreat. I don’t like unpaid bills because then I have to worry about if something is going to be turned off or canceled. I have no problem with me spontaneously doing a fun activity but I do have problems with other people want me to participate in their activities; people always want me to do things when I want to do nothing.

Am I selfish? Many people would say no but I am self-centered to the extent that I become really irritated when things are out of sort. I have to pray, prayer is part of the process. I am self-centered enough that if I don’t spend time alone with YHWH I am unbearable.

In 2018 my faith journey took a turn, I went deeper into the word of GOD. Because I was in unknown territory, receiving information that I had not heard before I trusted others to tell me what I was reading. The good news is, there was conflict in the information I was receiving and so I had to pray and do my own research. It is not that I disagreed with the people talking to me I just did not accept their truths; apparently I was right on January 1, 2018, I just have better understanding now.

In 2018 my relationships with my family was challenged;. I slowed down my activities to check myself. I gave away things I made that I could have sold to people who did not appreciate my efforts. I supported the decisions of people who were struggling and had made the decision to change only to later see them repeating what they had done to become discouraged. I canceled my plans to do what someone else wanted to do. By December of 2018 I realized: It wasn’t me; I was not the problem.

In 2018 I screwed up technically when it comes to my writing. Just before I published BEFORE YOU PRAY FOR ME I realized there were some format mistakes but I don’t have a copy of it, the only copy I have is at the copyright office. As I was editing FAMILY LEGACY my computer went down fortunately it was fixed and I continued writing. I started another manuscript TITUS WOMAN then my computer went down again with both manuscripts not saved and not completed. Nothing is on a flash or external hard-drive because I don’t have one. I am tired of starting over because I did not back up on an external hard-drive my writings THIS LESSON WAS LEARNED THE HARD WAY.

In 2018 I was my own worst supporter. I fully understand that I have very little support from friends and family, Vicki, my sister-friend, is the only one who not only encourages my writing but will redirect my attention when towards writing when I stop. In 2019 BEFORE YOU PRAY FOR ME will get published; the two manuscripts I am working on will get published. I learned a lot in 2018 but now it is time to stop sacrificing my gift from GOD to accommodate people who don’t understand what it means to be a writer.

written by Marsha L F Randolph
NETTIE-OLOGY /NETTIE-ISM reflects the opinions of and is the soul property of the author MARSHA L F RANDOLPH. All rights reserved- do not use without permission. Disagreeing with what is written is not offensive to the author a disagreeable comment will be deleted.

LEGACY

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NETTIE-ISM: It is not what you leave your daughters but what you are giving them while you are living that is important.

 

Every time I eat a sweet potato pie I remember when my grandmother made them, I also remember when my mother realized her mind had gone and could not make them anymore. At some point my grandmother’s pie recipe became lost in the abyss of Alzheimer’s.

The past few holidays my daughters have taken over doing all the cooking. I don’t have Alzheimer’s and I am able but I know it is important to allow them the opportunity to prepare a grand meal.

TITUS 2:3
the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—

This verse is the motivator factor for the book I am working on. This Titus woman is a teacher of good things far to many women today are not. What are we teaching our girls?

My grandmother was 100% woman and she expected a man to be 100% male. My grandmother was queen of her household. My grandmother demonstrated to her daughters the art of being female and they passed it on to their daughters. Unfortunately,unlike my grandmother my mother and my aunt, her daughters, worked outside the home so they knew how to cook just not her recipes.

Often when we, the grandchildren, gather those of us who were old enough to partake of her delicious pies will talk about granny’s pies. Now that is not to be confused with grandmother’s, my father’s mother, cakes; those recipes are gone too.

Those recipes are just a part of what made those grand ladies so wonderful. We were taught to respect them and we did, there were a lot of “as long as you are in my house” rules that we had to obey.

I went to church and liked it, when I visited granny. I watched grandmother cook, listened to her stories of back in the day. I watched granny date and not let him do more than kiss her on the cheek, I also saw her get married in church to a man who could provide for her. I saw grandmother serve granddaddy a hot meal when he got home from work. I saw granny crochet and serve as an usher in church. I saw grandmother gently counsel her children and grandchildren. Granny and grandmother were Titus women, they were strong, intelligent and beautiful women of GOD; what a legacy.

written by Marsha L F Randolph

NETTIE-ISM reflects the opinions of Marsha L F Randolph and is the soul property of the author MARSHA L F RANDOLPH. All rights reserved- do not use without permission. Disagreeing with what is written is not offensive to the author a disagreeable comment will be deleted.

A WRITERS’ JOURNEY

This has been an unbelievably stressful year! I began it editing FAMILY LEGACY (working title), blogging on my site NETTIE-OLOGY and making YOUTUBE VIDEOS consistently and then my computer crashed. After a few months of woe is me I got my computer fixed and continued editing, blogging and making YouTube videos. AND THEN I got an idea for another book, actually I had the idea for a while but the pages started formulating in my mind and so I was ready to start writing.

Did I mention that I screwed up the publication of BEFORE YOU PRAY FOR ME???? After getting the manuscript copyrighted and the book cover design created I was doing a final review, fixing some obvious technical errors and then the computer crashed. I HAVE NO BACK UP!

I don’t trust the “cloud” and I keep meaning to get an external hard drive but I keep forgetting and I have flash drives but apparently I did not use it. No problem- I thought. I will simply get a copy from the copyright place; it cost! Did I mention I am a cash flow challenged writer?

Nevertheless, I fixed my computer and started doing my thing. Long story short it is down again. Still no back up BUT I HAVE A PLAN!

This is how you know you are a writer, when you have to write even if it is using paper and pen. If you wake up thinking of plots, ways to edit to make the message flow, have abstract sentences flow through your mind at weird times of the day or know the computer repair man’s complete schedule and he has access to your computer 24 hours a day. I am a writer.

My computer is down, it is Christmas time and I don’t have credit cards. My family is more important to me than my computer so as much as I don’t like it I am using my husbands computer until such time as my computer is repaired. (My computer guy says I have one of the best computers out there and it is better to fix it than buy a new one.)

What is important is that I am writing and I have mentally done the edits for FAMILY LEGACY and written the first draft of the new manuscript, I am blogging regularly and I am thinking about the next book!

This is the life of me, Marsha L F Randolph, my normal!

FOOTNOTE: I am getting a second computer for my tax business and my crafting business as my computer guy keeps telling me I need. AND I AM GETTING AN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE!    written by Marsha L F Randolph

IT’S WHO I AM

I am 100% woman; my mother was 100% woman; my grandmother was 100% woman, and I am sure my female ancestors were all 100% woman. I come from a long line of intelligent, hard working, free thinking women who appreciated being female.  Furthermore, I love being a woman with all of its’ traditional perks, like men opening the door for me and paying the bill when we go out to eat.

Over ten years ago, I studied women in the Bible, for personal information, they were submissive and assertive, some even manipulative but always feminine. I have heard messages on the Proverbs 31 woman far to often but I can’t think of one message on the Titus woman. Today I here a barrage of women on television declaring their Christian faith while promoting abortion, same sex marriage, and violence against people who disagree with their political ideology.

Feminism has replaced being feminine. The consequences of these worldly philosophies is that families, as God defined them, has been destroyed.

I have been learning to appreciate  the things that I do: knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidery, making soap and candles, and gardening. Many would consider these actions old fashioned housewife activities; yep, they are and there is nothing wrong with doing them. There are quite a few women who appreciate being a female and being feminine.  How unfortunate, liberal media chooses to celebrate the minority of women who enjoying parading with “vagina hats” on demanding to have abortions. The real tragedy is when I hear Christian women talk negatively about women such as myself who enjoy being treated like a lady.

When I write it is from a female perspective,  THE TRUTH ABOUT VASHTAI was about women, one in particular,  overcoming despite the behavior of men.   I am currently working on two writing projects one fiction the other non-fiction.

My non-fiction writing project is about the legacy of a Black family. Just like being a female I cannot avoid writing from a woman of color’s perspective and I think it is an important message. Black people have been lied to about their history one of faith, family and purpose. There are more good times and victories than many have been led to believe.  I pray that upon completion it will be food for thought.

I am excited about the fiction piece because it is about women from a biblical perspective. This writing project allows my experience:  thirty plus years of Bible study, 58 plus years of living as a woman, and years of ministering to women in all walks of life, together to share what God’s word says about being a female and how we are to help one another.

This is what I was meant to do, this is what I will do- it is my “such at time as this.”
written by Marsha L F Randolph

SELF MONITIZATION – writers need an income while they write!

I finally mentioned paypal on a blog post because I know Google will never pay me what I am worth! I do not have thousands of followers, nor do I have hundreds of subscribers. I don’t write: sexually provocative thoughts, angry political ideology, or feel good messages that appeal to the masses but have no biblical basis. I will not have the thousands of followers that others do because I write about the realities of everyday living as a follower of Jesus. BUT I DO HAVE READERS.

I have been blogging for over 5 years and my readership has increased, ever so slowly. In that time the rules have changed for how bloggers are paid multiple time. In 5 years I have been paid once! I have earned money but it will be a while before Google releases it because of their threshold for payment. (Meaning: they have earned money from my blog but they are going to hold my check until I earn a specific dollar amount.)

You will notice that quite a few YouTubers, most of which also have blogs, have alternative ways of receiving income. Many YouTubers self-monitize using Patreon and Paypal their viewers give directly to them, well writers need money too!

I can earn a dollar from Google advertisement on my page but I will not get that dollar until I have accumulated $100 in the Google account. You can donate $1 to me via PayPal.me/NettieFR and I have access to that money instantly!

If I were to allow sexually provacative ads on my page I probably could earn money faster- I will not.

PLEASE SUPPORT THE PAGE! Donate to my PayPal.me/NettieFR account

Marsha L F Randolph

A NETTIE-ISM: PTSD

Dealing with PTSD.

I recently had a family member die, who lived with PTSD, when I lived near him I did not ‘get’ his personality, we were never close. I had heard mention of his difficulty since returning from the war but I can’t even say which war, I think it was Vietnam.
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, PTSD, was non-existent in the 1960’s and 70’s, it is just recent years that we hear about it and many times it is in association with non-war traumas. I still don’t understand it the dynamics of it all but I am very empathetic.
Last year a YouTuber talked about the suicide rate among veterans and he had a 22 for 22 challenge of which I participated. We did 22 toe touches in recognition for the 22 individuals who committed suicide that day; for those of us who did not exercise this was indeed a challenge. For a month we heard discussions about the difficulties people with PTSD have.
Recently I started watching THE QUILTING MARINE on YouTube, he has PTSD and he quilts as part of his treatment. The Quilting Marine, TQM, is a young Marine- perhaps he served in Afghanistan I have not researched to discover the origins of his PTSD.

Over the years I have encounter other men who have PTSD, I have come to respect them. These men, I have not personally met any female veterans with PTSD, just want peace and they need to do something to get it unfortunately for some drugs and alcohol are the only way to achieve this goal and for others it seems that suicide is the solution.

My cousin died of a heart attack but when I informed a family member of his death the comment was about how much he drank. I suspect my cousin drank to find peace.

I don’t know, I really am ignorant when it comes to this subject. I did my 22 toe-touches with 30 days of prayer for the veterans who committed suicide. And I am learning how to quilt so that the next challenge The Quilting Marine has I will be able to participate. (TQM has people in the YouTube community donate quilting blocks, he or someone in the community, makes a lap quilt for veterans in wheelchairs.) I do know that it takes a very special woman to stay married and love a man with PTSD and my cousins’ wife is a special woman. written by Marsha L F Randolph

The YouTubers I speak of: Big bear homestead  and The Quilting Marine

NETTIE-OLOGY /NETTIE-ISM reflects the opinions of and is the soul property of the author MARSHA L F RANDOLPH. All rights reserved- do not use without permission. Disagreeing with what is written is not offensive to the author a disagreeable comment will be deleted.